Drive By Review: Somebody to Love by Maille Mercury

Hello and Welcome to Drive By Reviews by Adonis Mann.

Today I would like to bring you “Somebody to Love” by Maille Mercury, which is available for free on Smashwords.

STLSomebody to Love

by

Maille Mercury

Smashwords

div64wyBlurb:

A short story about two girls who fall in love over a song.

A girl named Ella sits in a cafe waiting for the love of her life. Another girl comes and sits with her. They talk about their love of Queen. Later, the two girls go to Freddie Mercury’s shrine and share a kiss.

div64wyMy Review:

This book was definitely something. So much in fact, that it left me with practically nothing to say. Well, at least nothing very good to say.

Perhaps this is an Adonis thing; I don’t particularly like to give “bad reviews” (by definition) but prefer to make them practical and informative. Nevertheless, sometimes giving a bad rating is inevitable.

The difference being that the review is what you say about the work and the rating is how you score the work.

With all of that being said, I promise to be as informative as possible in my thoughts of this book.

This story is extremely short and relates the tale of how two women fall in love with each other because of a song. While the blurb indicated that they fall in love “over” a song, that is incorrect. In actuality it is because of a song. What song? “Somebody to Love” by Queen.

All right, that’s the premise. Now, I will try my best to give the reasons why I was not all too enamored with this story without giving away any spoilers. Once again, I said I will try. That is not a promise.

  • The story is narrated in first person, present tense, and that would have been fine had it not been for too many tense shifts in two pages worth of material. That is how long this story is—which is also fine. However, when you cannot keep tense consistent in 1000 words, then there is a problem.
  • Everything that happened not only transpired unrealistically fast, but it was all laid out way too conveniently. Suffice it to say that there was no actual conflict in the story. This, at times led me to believe that perhaps the story was a daydream. While I realize that this is a work of fiction, the fictional parts of the story were altogether unbelievable.
  • I’m not understanding why a hat equals “gay/lesbian”. You’ll see what I mean when you read the story.
  • The writing style screamed “teenager”. This too would be fine if the author were actually a teenager, but I could not say for certain.

For all of these reason, and some others that I will not mention I was unable to enjoy “Someone to Love”. That is an unfortunate shame.

One Star. 😦

1-star-ratingThank you for looking at Drive By Review with Adonis Mann. Until next time dear followers.

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2 thoughts on “Drive By Review: Somebody to Love by Maille Mercury

  1. Hi, this is Maille Mercury, thank you for reading my short story, Somebody To Love. I am sorry you didn’t enjoy it. Thank you for providing your reasons and making them known to me. I am an amatuer author and this was my very first writing I’ve published. I will keep working and working until I get a good one! 🙂

    • Hello Maille. Thanks for your comment. I try to provide useful feedback that growing authors can use. I pray that my review was helpful in some way, and I am always willing to give tips on how to better your craft.
      All the best and don’t give up on your dream. 🙂

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