YES, I AM GAY!
I am a gay man with self-love and self-respect!
I felt like that really needed to be said.
While it is true that today’s society has taken long strides in the acceptance of the LGBT community, there is still the underline LGBT prejudice. However, most of the time it’s kept quiet. People don’t dare walk up to a random gay man and yell fag in their face, then trample them like an unwanted animal. Why? Because would be Politically Incorrect. No body wants to say and/or do anything that blemishes their reputation.
Nevertheless, the stigma continues. To me, in the worst manner of all; in silence.
There is nothing more frustrating then entering a room and having everyone stare at you because your mannerisms may be different. Then, while nothing is being said, you can feel the looks you get and many times even think that you can read their minds;
“Wow. He must be gay!”
“Awe! Look at the cute little gay boy…!”
“Oh my gosh, he is flaming!”
“Poor thing… If he doesn’t hurry up and repent, he’s going straight to hell. What a shame.”
Well, let me assure you, I did not ask to be gay, nor did I choose to be. Who would voluntarily want to suffer the indignation that people put the LGBT community through? As a matter of fact, I never even asked to be born. My parents shacked up, didn’t use protection (whether intentional or unintentional) and nine months later … HELLO!
Why is it my fault that genetically speaking, my DNA made me the way that it did? How is that ever anyone’s fault? Did you ask to be born white, black, brown of otherwise? Did you ask to have blue or green eyes? Was it your choice whether or not you were born with curly or straight hair? NO! Well, just like you, it was not my choice to be born with my sexual preference, therefore I make no apology for it.
I have a life, therefore I live.
I have a mind, therefore I think.
I have emotions, therefore I feel.
I have a heart, therefore I love.
Does that make me any less human than you? I think not.
Now, you’re probably thinking that these are the ramblings of an angry gay man. Well, I assure you, they are not. There is a method to my madness.
As you all know, I am a writer.
Me at age five.
Well, not really, but you get the idea.* giggling *
There has always been a certain solace that I’ve felt whenever I picked up a pen. It was a comfort that I couldn’t get elsewhere. As far back as I can remember, writing came naturally to me and it felt right. Throughout time my style has changed, matured, as has the subject matter. What ultimately came from the growth of my passion for writing was a love for Contemporary LGBT Erotica.
Here is the battle …
The fight is in the belief that all LGBT Erotica is dry, unemotional and full of mindless sex. As though, we, the LGBT Community, aren’t capable of emotion.
When I am sad, I cry.
When I am happy, I smile.
When I am angry, I fight.
These emotions make me just as human as you. The blood that courses through my veins is the same color as yours. I am not a mannequin of a man that has no concept of sentimental awareness.
Let me tell you, I’ve been fighting against that odium all of my life. Now, I am fighting against this stereotype that as a LGBT Writer, I am incapable of loving, wanting and feeling. I want people to understand that LGBT Erotica CAN be passionate and demonstrate an emotional connection with people that far surpasses lust.
Who the hell, in the first place, decided that they wanted to write an LGBT Erotica story, about getting your nut and nothing else? That infuriates me!
I’ll tell you why.
From the time I was old enough to understand sex and things therein, and discovered Erotica, I became aware that Erotica was meant to bridge the sensual, emotional and sexual aspects that regular pornography could not provide. It was meant to give the reader a more inside look into the heart, as opposed to looking solely at the carnal facet of love making.
I admit to having read Straight Erotica first, as it was the first type of Erotica that I discovered, and I could not find LGBT Erotica. Then, when I finally did, it was all about the sex and not about the connection. That frustrated the heck out of me.
Then came my mission … my mission to create what I could not find. I long time ago I heard an idiom, it said “If you can’t find it, make it.” That has become my newest passion, my fervent endeavor, to create LGBT Erotica that also demonstrates human emotion. And so, I did.
Please, enjoy an Excerpt of “… and we“, my Short Story contribution of “Concordant Vibrancy: Unity, An All Authors Anthology“.
Why I like both men and women?
Why does one like anything—chocolate, coffee, a horse race? Because they do. It brings them pleasure. They enjoy it. There is no real basis for why one likes what one likes, it merely is. I was attracted to both sexes because I was, and for no other reason. It gratified me to feel the softness of a woman and the firmness of a man. It felt good.
Double the pleasure, double the fun.
Before, I get any further with this discussion, let me take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Ronin Lewis. I was born in Chesapeake Bay, Virginia and was raised everywhere. I was an army brat. We moved around a lot. It wasn’t something that bothered me. I actually liked it. I got to see the world at an early age. Things were good. I am a milkshake of combined races—ranging from Native American, to Black, to Caucasian, and who knows what else.
With my curly black hair, bronzed skin and light brown eyes, most people assume I’m Hispanic; although I believe that is something I am not. However, I’m happy to oblige the Ronin pursuer with an ‘Hola. Como estas?’ then a wink and a smirk,from time to time. Anything in good fun.
Am I a playboy, a player, a philanderer? Who knows; I probably am. What does it matter anyway? As long as all parties involved get their cookies, my charismatic, heavy hitting ways should have little to no effect on anyone.
Let me get something straight. For the record, I am no pervert. Had I been a deviant I’d be fondling and groping any woman and man I crossed in the street. Yes, it is true that I may be a wolf of sorts, but I am by no means a degenerate.
Who in their right mind does not enjoy sex anyway? Apart from nuns and monks, of course. In my younger years I spent some time stripping—for both fun and money. Later on in life, I utilized some of that money to make some lucrative investments, which leads me to the present.
Today I live happily, enjoying some money and good company. As a kid I battled with confusion. Did I like girls or boys? Well, it seemed like one year I had a crush on a girl and the very next it was a boy. For some time I mingled with the straight crowd, and for yet another span of time I hung with the “gay and proud” crowd. When I was younger you were either straight or gay. No one understood (or openly acknowledged) bisexuality.
Of course, if you were gay, the majority was against you. However, what friends you did have were true and stood by your side. Yet, if you were “confused” then you fit nowhere.
I still snicker with contempt at that term. Confused…! It was patronizing, really.